Summarily I notice men have expectations about what they want during sex and they go all out to get an orgasm by making sure their demands are met during sex.

However women are always shy, always trying not to pass the notion that they have been around too much, always trying to satisfy the man instead of themselves.

So they end up dissatisfied, frustrated and grumpy. It is little wonder that women enjoy sex more with their “runs” partners or when having an affair.

This is because there is no pressure for them to pretend or live up to their partners expectations since there most times isn’t any future in such relationships.

So they go all out to please themselves and they get it right.

The reasons highlighted below should be looked at and properly handled to ensure a total turn around in your sex experience.

Reasons why women don’t enjoy sex:

  • The clitoris is outside, not inside the vagina
  • You’re trying to orgasm without clitoral stimulation
  • You’re too busy: can’t relax into the moment
  • You don’t like to be out of control
  • You don’t understand how your body works
  • You’re sexually inexperienced
  • You’re sexually unconfident
  • You’re unable to speak up about what you need to orgasm
  • There’s a lack of sexual communication
  • You feel guilty about sex
  • You have a history of traumatic sex or sexual abuse
  • It’s a side effect of medication (like anti-depressants)
  • You’re feeling rushed by your partner
  • Your partner’s technique is ineffective
  • There’s not enough foreplay
  • You feel stressed
  • You feel angry at your partner
  • You’re bored with sex and your partner
  • You don’t fancy your partner anymore
  • You’re trying to orgasm through ineffective thrusting


  • Make sex a priority in your life, rather than something to cross off the ‘to do’ list
  • Stop pretending
  • Turn the experience to be all about you. Be selfish;most of the time. Take him to places that work for you. Show him
  • Have a femoral intercourse: pretend you are masturbating
  • Let him penetrate gradually in stages. jump on top, put just the head of his penis inside you, stop for a few seconds, then in one smooth motion, slide to the bottom of the shaft, staying there for ten seconds while you grind yourself against his pelvic bone while he’s deep inside you.

Slowly pull up again, squeezing your kegel muscles around the shaft as you do. Again, stop when it’s just the head of his penis inside you, wait a few seconds and then slide back down and repeat.

The trick is to do this really slowly, focusing on squeezing and maintaining control

  • Rethink how you have sex: do something edgy-add a sex toy
  • Hold his bottom: When he’s on top, grab his buttocks and pull him close to you, massaging the cheeks so his pelvis grinds into yours providing clitoral pressure.
  • Deal with stress and upset, find something that relaxes you or get support
  • Think about what would excite you about life and make practical plans toward achieving it
  • Talk to your partner about what you need in bed
  • Tell your partner you need time to get aroused
  • Focus on what you’re feeling during sex, not on what you’re thinking
  • Focus on what you like about your body, not on what you don’t like
  • See a therapist if you’re still struggling with a past sexual trauma
  • Accept that letting go is different than losing control
  • Challenge any negative messages given to you by parents, religions, critical past partners
  • Realise it’s ok to be selfish sexually
  • Leave a dead-end relationship
  • Let your partner know specifically what you need to be happy in your relationship and sex life
  • Get a physical check-up and review medication
  • Live healthily so you have the energy for sex